Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Kinder, Gentler GAC

Has anyone noticed how much Zak Bagans has toned down his act when confronting the other side?  Instead of a spray-tanned bit bull, he's now an orange pussy cat. The guys, who were hilarious to begin with, seem to have clearly caught on to the fact that they are entertainers.  I think they may take their show on the road as some sort of ghost busting, comedy team.

This past episode of Ghost Adventures that took place in Newcastle, PA at Hill View Manor (a former retirement home where hundreds of people died), was a perfect example of what I'm talking about. It starts with Zak sporting a pair of shades, petting a darling, sandy-colored puppy in a field outside the building.

Zak and the cute owner of the place, named Candy (she had eyebrows that would make Divine jealous), flirted it up as she gave him a tour of the place. She said she had her butt pinched by a ghost and kind of liked it. Meanwhile, Aaron tripped over a pipe repeatedly, much to the mockery of Zak. Zak's expression as Aaron trips a second time was one of pure douche-baggery.

Candy O, those eyebrows!

When they got down to the basement, Zak exclaimed that it made him want to curl up with a sleeping bag and "listen to some Kenny G."  Really? Not Nine Inch Nails or Ministry, Zak?

We also got to see Zak play piano on an out-of-tune piano. And they had fun with a shot of a wheel chair flying down a staircase repeatedly, which channeled The Changeling.

My favorite line of the episode? When they got to a place in the building where an angry lunch lady worked, Aaron backed it up and said, "Now I'm sitting on the mashed potatoes."

Another funny Aaronism occurred when he asked if the spirit of Jim liked the food in the cafeteria: "Did you guys ever have anything that blew your mind that you loved so much? Did you like the spaghetti and meatballs she made? I heard it's pretty gooood."

When they get to the roof where two suicides took place, Zak claimed they weren't up there to "get a sun tan." No tan needed, Zak. I promise.

Around the building sits a big golf course, built over human remains. This can mean only one thing: The Ghost Adventures Invitational golf game!  All the guys sported polo shirts. Zak wore an orange one that matched his face. They raced around in golf carts and hit balls all over the place, even making fun of themselves when Zak debunked that Nick hit a ball 450 yards by using their high-definition cameras.

Nick's mysterious 450-yard-hit

My favorite part of the whole golf diversion was the droopy caddy who stood off to the side and held the scores like he'd rather be sucking on a tail pipe.  Zak won the game. Big surprise there. Later, Aaron said, "Just to let you know, I lost on purpose just so Zak looked good on film. That's what I do." This is why we love you, Aaron.

During their lock down, there were a lot of whispery EVPs I didn't really get. The guys used their spirit box, which didn't reveal anything I thought that impressive, despite the fact that Nick and Zak were losing it over stringing some sentences together that was supposed to mean something about something. Whatever. Yawn.
The one EVP that really creeped me out was the one I can't remember, of course. It was clear as day and very human-sounding.

There was footage of an orb in a hallway that looked credible. We also got lots of shots of Zak's meaty forearms with goosebumps and hair standing on end.

When Zak believed he communicated with a guy named Jim, he addressed him in a much different way than the old, pit bull Zak would have. Instead of saying, "Hey Jim, you motherfucker, come out and git us!" he said:

"Sir, I think you talked to me and emotionally that kind of hit me a little bit. . . I want to say thank you for communicating with us. I guess it's just the interaction."

Awwww Zak, you big pussy.

Later, he and Nick get a ghost speaking to them in their spirit box that Zak called "a smart ass." Payback is a bitch, isn't it, Zak?

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